Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
