You're so nebulous sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
