I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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