I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
