moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My vagina just clenched in fear
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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