walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
