in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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