she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
