I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
