Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize