At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
