We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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