dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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