Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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