She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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