I look better un-naked...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize