Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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