You really coming over, don't trick.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
