Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
