I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
