I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
