just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
