Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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