I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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