VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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