I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
