great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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