The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
