Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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