hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
