I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
