so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize