I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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