you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
