Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
