it wasn't lemon gatorade
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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