I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize