She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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