I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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