I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
