i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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