The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
