Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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