Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
