I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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