yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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