is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize