plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
