nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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