We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
should my penis look like a turkey
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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