I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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