Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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