the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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