It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
