I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize