dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
