so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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