I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize