I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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