we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
