oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
