So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she peed on how many people?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
