Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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