I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
