if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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