Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
