Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it because I queefed?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
