We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
