Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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