Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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