I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
